Continued thoughts inspired by Frankie's Funeral (Memorial) service

Now everyone can't have a funeral like this incredible man, but it's in the spirit of what we are recommending people do for their own funerals/memorial services. And one of the reasons we say people should plan their own funerals now is because if you do it, you can take it further than your family and friends most likely ever would (if that's what you want. This applies to people who want to push the envelope a bit to leave a lasting impression.) Oddly, they hold back out of "respect" for the person who has died - and quite frankly, that's ridiculous. No one would be respecting me if they didn't have jokes, laughter, great music, booze and wonderful stories at my funeral. Would you "respect" me like that if you were throwing a birthday party for me when I was alive? Hell no - so don't do it when I'm dead.

So if you do take your funeral planning further than is traditionally acceptable, you will reflect who you were and your life in its individual glory, more perfectly than anyone else could. It will be perfect in its imperfections. And this is something I will repeat over and over again so much that you will probably gag - but it is a great gift in a very difficult time to those who love you. It will be unbelievably healing because it will make them think about how wonderful life in its totality can be - with all its ups and downs, innocence, craziness, sweetness, sidetracks, emotional roller coasters, moments of Grace, fear, madness and love. It can be one of those experiences where the individual represents the whole, and in this case - the whole of life itself. That's the nature of funerals and that's one of the reasons we just love them!

People are ripe for contemplation at a funeral; they are tenderly open and actually yearning for bits of life. You will serve up a feast of life if you put a bit of effort into the planning. Of course your family and friends may be left with lots of the work to fulfill your wishes (unless you do lots of legwork in advance- another gift), and therefore it may not be as grand or as specific as you imagined. (Like my live Japanese Taiko drummers, a choir of 50 and a version of "Thus Spake Zarathustra" as my coffin rises out of a bare stage floor like the scene from 2001 A Space Odyssey where monkeys freak out at the great monolith.)

But even some specifics of your life have the potential to thrill them at this time. It's almost like a cheap date - a little bit goes a long way in this situation. They will be thinking, "My God, yes, that's Sue! She loved all those kinds of music!" Or, "She liked that?! I didn't know that!" (My family especially will be thinking this.) Either way works to get them focused on life and not just the sadness of death and loss. There will be mourning (perhaps not for me if I play my cards right), but if funerals truly become celebrations of life and not just give lip service to celebrating life - then great healing will happen. And the healing will happen so much faster - you have our guarantee.

Carmen and I have a great vision of the future if funerals and memorial services are transformed into the great parties and true celebrations of life that we imagine. We see true transformation all over the United States (and Canada!) in the way people think about death itself. We believe a shift in the way funerals are planned and executed (insert your own joke here), will actually create all these new experiences for people that will in turn shift thinking and there will be a groundswell of change in how we feel about death and great healing will happen throughout the land(s)! Hey - we're Americans - we think BIG! So think BIG with us and start planning your own funeral. By the way, this doesn't even address how much fun it is to do the actual planning. Just for a moment right now - think of three pieces of music that you would want at your funeral. Fun. Isn't it. Even now, as I write this, I am always looking for inspiration for my Big Fat American Funeral.