Cremation jewelry is becoming more popular every day, for many reasons. While some once thought that anything to do with cremation was macabre or taboo, many are coming to understand the healing power that jewelry and other keepsake memorials provide. While it may be new to you, cremation jewelry is thought to go back as far as the 15th or 16th century, when even those as famous as Queen Victoria were known to cherish jewelry that was made with the hair of a departed loved one, which was woven into bracelets and lockets. Hair resists decay and remains intact for hundreds and perhaps even thousands of years, which is why it was chosen for this purpose. It is still common to hold a lock of hair in a keepsake. Today, cremation jewelry is made in a way that allows the wearer to carry the cremated remains, a lock of hair or some other token that is special or dear to their heart. This jewelry helps many deal with the grief and loss they are feeling. It also helps give the wearer a feeling of peace, and keeps their beloved close to their heart symbolically and in reality.
One benefit of today's cremation jewelry is that much of it is made so that it looks like any other jewelry you would purchase. This means that you can wear something sacred to you, and others won't know what it is or make comments that may be upsetting to you. Another detail that many people do not realize about cremation jewelry is that some is designed to target a particular area. For example, their are selections for those who may have lost a baby or child, or even a pet. Guardian angels, heart shaped lockets, and praying hands are a few of the popular designs available, and you will find this exquisite jewelry in gold, silver, stainless steel, glass, wood and cobalt blue. There are literally several cremation jewelry designs, so that you can choose the piece that perfectly suits your needs.
While some may find it depressing or odd to carry a passed person's cremated reamins with them, people are affected in their own ways when the death of a loved one occurs. For many, it is a very reassuring way to remember the ones they love, and the memories evoked often allow those who mourn to put the pieces of their life back together so that they can continue forward. Cremation jewelry may not be for everyone, but it certainly offers comfort and soothing to the hearts of many. This has been a guest blog post by Tyler Fraser www.inthelighturns.com/
]]>So if you do take your funeral planning further than is traditionally acceptable, you will reflect who you were and your life in its individual glory, more perfectly than anyone else could. It will be perfect in its imperfections. And this is something I will repeat over and over again so much that you will probably gag - but it is a great gift in a very difficult time to those who love you. It will be unbelievably healing because it will make them think about how wonderful life in its totality can be - with all its ups and downs, innocence, craziness, sweetness, sidetracks, emotional roller coasters, moments of Grace, fear, madness and love. It can be one of those experiences where the individual represents the whole, and in this case - the whole of life itself. That's the nature of funerals and that's one of the reasons we just love them!
People are ripe for contemplation at a funeral; they are tenderly open and actually yearning for bits of life. You will serve up a feast of life if you put a bit of effort into the planning. Of course your family and friends may be left with lots of the work to fulfill your wishes (unless you do lots of legwork in advance- another gift), and therefore it may not be as grand or as specific as you imagined. (Like my live Japanese Taiko drummers, a choir of 50 and a version of "Thus Spake Zarathustra" as my coffin rises out of a bare stage floor like the scene from 2001 A Space Odyssey where monkeys freak out at the great monolith.)
But even some specifics of your life have the potential to thrill them at this time. It's almost like a cheap date - a little bit goes a long way in this situation. They will be thinking, "My God, yes, that's Sue! She loved all those kinds of music!" Or, "She liked that?! I didn't know that!" (My family especially will be thinking this.) Either way works to get them focused on life and not just the sadness of death and loss. There will be mourning (perhaps not for me if I play my cards right), but if funerals truly become celebrations of life and not just give lip service to celebrating life - then great healing will happen. And the healing will happen so much faster - you have our guarantee.
Carmen and I have a great vision of the future if funerals and memorial services are transformed into the great parties and true celebrations of life that we imagine. We see true transformation all over the United States (and Canada!) in the way people think about death itself. We believe a shift in the way funerals are planned and executed (insert your own joke here), will actually create all these new experiences for people that will in turn shift thinking and there will be a groundswell of change in how we feel about death and great healing will happen throughout the land(s)! Hey - we're Americans - we think BIG! So think BIG with us and start planning your own funeral. By the way, this doesn't even address how much fun it is to do the actual planning. Just for a moment right now - think of three pieces of music that you would want at your funeral. Fun. Isn't it. Even now, as I write this, I am always looking for inspiration for my Big Fat American Funeral.
]]>My friend Christine DeBano recently went to a wonderful memorial service in New York City for an unusual man - Frankie Manning, and I wanted you to hear the story about her experience. His service is a great example of a memorial (or funeral) service that is all about LIFE and in his case, an incredible life. (But we truly believe everyone has an incredible life - even if you don't see it.) Here's her wonderful report - it will make you wish you had been there. (Many thanks to Christine for sharing this!! We appreciate it!)
"On May 22, 2009, I had the privilege of attending the memorial service for Frankie Manning, a 94 year old Lindy hopper who had toured the world and appeared in several films. He had died April 27th, a month before his 95th birthday. He was a prominent dancer in the 30's, but upon the demise of the Swing Era, he took a job at the post office, where he worked for 30 years. He was rediscovered in the 80's and went on to win a Tony Award of Choreography for Black and Blue. He was seventy five years old.
The Savoy Ballroom came alive in the church on Fifth Avenue in New York City. A jazz combo at the base of the altar played swing music and old ballads that pierced your heart. Couples got up and danced intermittently during the service; young and old in swirling polka dot skirts, spats and assorted clothes of the swing era. At one point the ministers started dancing on the altar. The air was electric with love, joy and sweet memories.
People came from all over the world to pay tribute to a man who seemed to ignite the spirit of freedom in everyone he touched. We heard tributes from friends of 75 years; people who wept and laughed, sometimes dancing while reminiscing about an era that seemed more fun and passionate than our present time. One young man from Sweden shared how he called Frankie back in the 80's and asked if he could come to New York and learn how to dance. Frankie not only taught him to dance, but he invited him to Harlem for a home cooked meal.
At the end of the three hour memorial service the jazz combo lead us to Central Park; we danced and swayed along the sidewalk to WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN. Dazed tourists took pictures of the procession, clicking away at our eccentric group: women carrying decorated umbrellas and others waving handkerchiefs in the style of a New Orleans funeral. A twelve piece swing orchestra was waiting for us at the Naumburg Bandshell. They played all afternoon. Thousands danced and continued to share stories on a hot summer day in May. How can you thank someone for teaching you how to live with passion and celebration? Let's Dance..."
]]>Also, we'll be doing a book reading and signing at a great Richmond bookstore - the Fountain Bookstore at 1312 East Cary Street, (804) 788-1594. It starts at 6:30 PM. We'd love to meet you and hope you can come by.
Then, on August 28th, we'll be doing a morning TV show in Portsmouth, VA - on WAVY-TV 10 & FOX 43 at approximately 7:30 AM. Hope you're up early! Wish us well so our brains will be firing on all cylinders and we'll have great word recall without lots of stumbling on words. Normally none of that happens (hah!), but just in case it's good to get the support! Thanks!
]]>Carmen and Sue spent the afternoon napping! Thanks so much to everyone who sent the cool green coffins and unusual urns to dress the segment.
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The original introduction to Grave Expectations was longer than the one actually included in the book. In the first draft we wrote about some strange, unusual occurrences that happened while we were writing the book—starting with a huge crack across a mirrored cabinet. Apparently it was "too much" and was edited out, but we thought you would be interested in seeing it anyway. You can read the full introduction here on the site.
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"Life is such a rich, complicated, joyous, mysterious, wild ride. Everyone has stories to tell and lessons to pass on, and what better way to do that than when you're alive? It was your life; your funeral is the one time you should do and say absolutely whatever you want."
We're also excited to let you know that we'll be on the Today Show upcoming (later this week). We'll let you know when it will be. If you miss the local broadcast, you'll be able to catch it later (we'll post a link on this site, in the media section).
Cheers! Carmen & Sue
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